Almost done?

The older child is now four and a half years old, and given to talking about breastfeeding and about the fact that her mouth no longer does it properly. She hasn't had a feed for weeks.

The younger child is now two and a quarter years old and still feeds morning, noon and night - in general, she has a feed first thing in the morning, just before her nap, last thing at night, and in the middle of the night; other feeds during the day are directly related to physical or emotional discomfort.

Three weeks ago I went away from her for over 24 hours. Within 12 hours I was engorged; by 18 hours I was in pain; after 22 hours I was hand-expressing in public toilets to reduce swelling. It took a few days for the bruised feeling to go away.

Today a visiting toddler fell down our stairs and my own toddler said "Beebee sad! Beebee hurt! Milk!"

She also sometimes says "Da goo," which means thank you. So that's nice.

Oral thrush

Toddler - who is now Enormous Four-Year-Old - is still feeding once every couple of months. Weaning is complicated! But she now finds that she doesn't get any milk, and her latch looks really odd, so I think her body has weaned her now and she's losing or lost the ability to suckle.

Baby - who is now a Toddler - has oral thrush. This is fine, but she hates, loathes, despises and fears her medicine, which is cherry-flavoured Nystatin by the dropperful. She seems perfectly well, though to begin with she was feverish and miserable. I'm hoping that, like her wart, her immune system will sort the thrush out if she gets enough sleep and good food. She also hasn't passed it on to me yet, for which I am very grateful, and it is staying localised in her mouth and not anywhere else, more miserable.

She still feeds at night - one feed for fluid or food and also if she wakes needing comfort.
She seems to really need it. I'd like her to cut it out, frankly, but I'm not sure how to achieve this. With luck, we can start a routine of sleep-pattern stuff soon, since our summer gallivanting is over, and this should at least let us predict what's going on even if we can't control it.

I'm not sure how much I like the idea of feeding her through my next pregnancy, though of course we have no idea when that is going to be, yet.

Child-led weaning

I keep thinking Eldest has weaned and then mere weeks later she has another breastfeed. She has had at least two since she turned four. Weaning is much more gradual than I ever imagined - she can be utterly content without breastmilk and then gets a heavy cold or a nightmare and needs me again. It's totally without drama. She hasn't asked for weeks but I'm not sure enough to say "never again" yet because of previous month-long intervals!

Youngest is still a breastfed baby, but she's only 22 months and not a "routine" kind of girl, so I can't say whether she's mostly at night or mostly in the day or which feeds she needs most. She needs the ones she needs, is all.

In sickness and in health

Eldest is now 3 years and 11 months old, and Baby is 19 months or so. We've all been ill recently. Both children stopped eating real meals, and Baby reverted almost entirely to breastmilk for a few days. Eldest took a few meal-sized breastfeeds too, as she went from ill to convalescent.

Eldest still has an excellent latch. Baby's latch is poor now; I think she's teething. I do wonder when Eldest will have her last feed. She goes up to a week between feeds now, perhaps sometimes more, and they seem to be directly related to a combination of physical and emotional ill-being. 

Baby isn't weaning any time soon. She still needs night feeds, especially when she's ill (it helps keep her sinuses clear) and a few feeds in the daytime. I'm hoping to get her sorted with a feed-to-sleep routine soon, and then when that's in place change carefully to a no-feed-to-sleep routine. If she could go all or most of the night without needing me, I'd be delighted.

Of course if I had to I could night-wean her forcibly but the disadvantages far outweigh the advantages to us as a family right now.

The state of things

Toddler is 3y 8m and more a little girl than a Toddler now, Baby is a Toddler at 17m, and they're both still having mama milk. Baby gets it several times a day and once or twice at night; Toddler gets it almost every day, either day or night, but rarely twice in a day. Toddler usually negotiates a number and we count - one milk, two milk, three milk, four milk, five milk, six milk, seven milk, let go please. She doesn't seem to mind whether I count fast or slow as long as I stick to the agreed number.


I do definitely feel less and less able to admit that Toddler gets milk, though. Less and less. I'm kind of embarrassed about it. But when no-one external is asking, it's fine.